How to Decorate for Fall in Florida
I love fall. Okay, I love the idea of what it would be like to have a fall. You see, we don’t really have one in Florida.
Just reading all the decorating blogs and seeing those lovely pictures of fall decorations, how to store root vegetables, the latest must-have boots, the soft sumptuous sweaters and scarves that I want so badly sends me dreaming.
I just saw the most beautiful pumpkins at our Sams Club. Their huge stems twisted and green just yearning to become a beautiful handle or craggy top hat on a spectacularly carved jack-o-lantern. Then there are the gorgeous pots of chrysanthemums in colors of copper, gold, amethyst and burgundy calling to me as I walked into the grocery store.
Well crap, that’s not going to happen here! Florida doesn’t have a “fall”.
We don’t have leaves changing colors to red and orange toppling to the ground with lovely acorns attached or beautiful chestnuts roasting over an open fire.
We don’t go over the river and through the woods to grandmothers house or anyone else’s for that matter. The river has alligators, snakes, mosquitos and spiders in it. And the woods, well, you get the picture.
If you aren’t familiar with our weather, it is 85 to 90 friggin degrees right now with the humidity close to 100%! This is the beginning of October, woo hoo, it’s fall!
Carving a pumpkin today and putting it on the front porch will be perfect for Halloween…if you are advertising for a haunted house! Within four days your pumpkin will be moldy, caved in and full of fruit flies, cockroaches and ants! Of course, this will add to the degree of gruesome, ugly and smelly that can only be a haunted Halloween. The front porch is also home to a bevy of spiders, cobwebs and dead bug corpses that were sucked dry by said spiders! I don’t make this up.
I am going to do my paisley and plaid best rendition of an autumnal entry. It will probably involve fake plants, fake pumpkins and fake silk pillows…or go for the “real” haunted thing and just let the dead bugs, spider webs and spiders have their way…its much easier.
This is my family room, its way easier inside with the air conditioning!
Really, this blog is about embellishing, however, those other design blogs out there can’t be real. I mean come on, am I really the only one with this crap on their front porch or is it that they clean theirs before their pictures and show you this perfect space?
I want to be real, really real. I am showing you the “real” space, embellished by my live-in spiders. It looks perfect cobwebs and all.